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MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND FORGIVENESS
A. Introduction: For a number of weeks, we have been discussing how God makes sinful men and women
into sons and daughters who are like Jesus in character and behavior. We’ve made these points.
1. God created human beings to become His sons and daughters through faith in Jesus. God wants
sons and daughters who are like Jesus in character and behavior. Jesus is God become man without
ceasing to be God. Jesus, in His humanity, is the pattern for God’s family. Rom 8:29; I John 2:6
a. Jesus summed up the kind of character and behavior that God wants from His sons and daughters
in one statement: Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul. And love your neighbor as
yourself. All the other commands…are based on these two (Matt 22:37-40, NLT).
b. The night before Jesus was crucified, He told His apostles: I command you to love each other in
the same way that I love you. And here is how you measure it—the greatest love is shown
when people lay down their lives for their friends (John 15:12-13, NLT).
1. Most of us will never have to literally lay down our lives to save another person. What we
face is having to restrain ourselves when we want to lash out at someone who has hurt us,
offended us, or annoy us. Love chooses not to treat people that way.
2. The love we are to love others with is not a feeling. It is an action. To love another person
means to treat them the way you want to be treated. Jesus said: Treat others as you want
them to treat you. This is what the Law and the Prophets are all about (Matt 7:12, CEV).
2. We’ve made the point that to love others as God commands us to, to treat people as we wish to be
treated, we must learn to be humble and meek. Jesus was both meek and humble. Matt 11:28-30
a. A humble person recognizes his true relation to God and to others. He sees himself as a servant
of God and of his fellow man. A servant thinks how can I be a blessing to those I serve?
b. The one who is meek is able to control his reactions to people when they annoy or anger him.
He doesn’t lash out. He is patient and thinks, how would I want to be treated if I were them?
1. Humility and meekness come out of recognizing that without God, I am nothing, have
nothing, know nothing, and can do nothing. Gal 4:6; I Cor 4:17; I Cor 8:2; John 15:5
2. Humility and meekness come out of realizing that every human being is created in the image
of God and is known and loved by Him. A humble person sees that every human has the
same purpose as me—to become God’s son or daughter and bear the family likeness of Jesus.
c. The problem is that we are all born with a corruption that inclines us to exalt ourselves above
God and others. We inherited it from Adam, the first man. Another word for this trait is pride.
1. Most of us don’t think of ourselves as proud because we don’t go around bragging about
ourselves. But all of us see ourselves as better than at least some people, because we don’t
do what they do—I’m not like them, I’m not that bad. Jesus called that pride. Luke 18:9-14
2. The way we treat people is based on our attitude toward them—how we think about them and
how we talk about them. We need to honestly assess ourselves and ask: Do I see myself as
better than others? Do I see other people as valuable to God?
3. Last week we began to look at some practical steps we need to take in order to obey Jesus’ command
to love people as He loves them, and be more like Him. We have more to say in tonight’s lesson.
B. In the last lesson we looked at an incident in David’s life that, because of pride and anger (or a lack of
humility and meekness), almost let to bloodshed and the death of innocent people. I Sam 25:1-37
1. David and his men protected shepherds who worked in a wilderness region for a man named Nabal.
At sheepshearing time David asked Nabal for a share of provisions (a culturally appropriate request).
a. Nabal rudely, selfishly, sinfully denied David’s request. Nabal disrespected David and exalted
himself (pride), declaring: Why should I give my bread, my water, my meat to this fellow and
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his men? They’re probably runaway slaves (Nabal knew David was the future king of Israel).
b. David’s reaction to this disrespect and rejection was just as selfish and sinful. He was furious.
He took four hundred armed men and set out to kill Nabal and every man in Nabal’s household.
1. Both Nabal and David ignored God’s Law which says: Lev 19:18—Never seek revenge or
bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord (NLT).
2. Nabal’s wife, Abigail, got to David before he reached Nabal and talked him out of his plan.
She reminded David: God has taken care of you up to now. Payback is His job, not yours.
God is righteous and just, and has all the facts. You don’t want this sin on your conscience.
2. It is not wrong to feel angry because of an injustice, insult, or injury. Anger is a normal emotional
response to certain situations. Anger itself is not sinful. But it must be controlled.
a. Jesus, our example, got angry, primarily with the hypocritical religious leadership of Israel
(lesson for another night). But Jesus never sinned. He never stepped outside of love. Heb 4:15
b. Jesus was fully human at the same time He was fully man. He got frustrated with his apostles
when He came upon them trying, but not succeeding, in casting a devil out of a boy—even
though He had model it for three years and had given them authority to do so (Matt 17:14-21).
1. Jesus responded: How long must I put up with you (Matt 17:17, NLT)? The word
translated put up with means to hold up against and is translated to endure, to bear with.
2. Jesus didn’t call them names, humiliate them, lecture them, or give them the silent treatment.
He told them what was wrong so they could correct it (lesson for another day).
c. Paul the apostle wrote: Eph 4:26—Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your
wrath (NKJV).
1. If your anger drives you to do or say something to someone you would not want done to you,
you’ve sinned, because you’ve stepped outside of love. A meek person controls his anger.
2. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger means deal with it quickly, before your anger
becomes uncontrollable rage. So how do we deal with it?
d. Recognize that when our emotions are aroused, we start talking to ourselves. We go over and
over what happened. What they said, what we said, what we should have said, how awful it
was. We fix our mind on what happened and feed anger instead of controlling and defusing it.
1, David didn’t control his anger. Instead, he fed it by focusing on and talking about the wrong
done to him. Abigail’s words helped David get his anger under control. She spoke to
David the way he should have talked to himself.
2. The first thing Abigail said to David was: Pay no attention to Nabal (I Sam 25-25). The
Hebrew word translated pay no attention means regard him not. In other words, don’t fix
your attention on him. Then she reminded him of the truth about God and himself.
3. The number one way we control our mind is with the words of our mouth. James 3:2 says: We all
make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other
way (NLT). We either fuel or quell the fire of anger by the way that we talk to ourselves.
a. We talk to ourselves based on our attitude—how we view ourselves and how we view other
people. James gives us insight into how we should view and treat other people by reminding us
that they are created in the image of God. He wrote:
1. James 3:9-10—We use (the tongue) to give thanks to our Lord and Father, and also to curse
our fellow-man, created in the likeness of God. Words of thanksgiving and cursing pour
from the same mouth. My brothers! This should not happen (GNB).
2. To curse means to wish evil against a person or thing. You may be thinking: I (generally)
don’t wish evil on people. But here’s what we do. We talk about God’s goodness, we
praise Him, and then we turn around and say something ugly to or about another person.
b. That’s what the Pharisee did in the parable Jesus related about the self-righteous Pharisee who
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went to the Temple to pray. Jesus quoted the man’s prayer: He thanked (praised) God that: I
am not a sinner like everyone else, especially that tax collector over there (Luke 18:11, NLT).
c. Clearly the Pharisee did not view the tax collector as a being made in the image of God. Note
the scorn in his words. Scorn includes anger and disgust or contempt or despising.
4. We pointed out in several earlier lessons that, not only is it natural for us to look down on others, we
live in a culture that makes it easy to criticize everyone. To criticize means to find fault.
a. Entire programs (podcasts, YouTube channels, etc.) are based on talking about what is wrong
with people—how they look, what they believe, how they act—people they don’t personally,
know and situations they don’t have all the facts about. We can’t help but be influenced by that.
1. Paul wrote: Rom 12:1-2—Dear Christian friends…don’t copy the behavior and customs of
this world, but let God turn you into a new person by change the way you think (NLT).
2. Sarcasm is a popular form of humor in our culture. Sarcasm means a cutting remark. It
comes from a Greek word that means to tear flesh. We bite and devour people with words.
b. Paul rebuked Christians who were in arguing and fighting with each other: Instead of showing
love among yourselves, you are always biting and devouring one another (Gal 5:15, NLT).
5. None of this means that you can’t ever talk negatively about another person or that you have to like
or agree with everyone. There are times when we have to discuss another person’s behavior. But
much of what we talk about has no direct bearing on our lives, and we all could and should talk less.
a. Prov 21:23—If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble (NLT); Prov 10:19—The
more you talk, the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise, you will keep quiet (GNB).
b. When you regularly and unnecessarily talk bad about other people, you de-sensitize yourself to
people in general, which makes it much easier to treat them in unChristlike ways.
1. Develop the habit of finding something good, something positive, to say about someone who
annoys you. If you can’t say anything good, then it’s better to say nothing.
2. Eph 4:29—Do not use harmful words in talking. Use only helpful words, the kind that built
up and provide what is needed, so what you say will do good to those who hear you (GNB).
c. Remember, we’re supposed to treat others as we wish to be treated. Stop and think: Do I want
people talking about me the way I’m talking about that person. Stop and think: When you
accidently cut someone off in traffic, you’ve made a mistake. Is it right, then, to call someone
who cuts you off a stupid idiot. Or did he, like you, make a mistake and needs grace—like you.
C. Both David and Nabal violated God’s Law: Lev 19:18—Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against
anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself (NLT). Neither man treated the other as they themselves
wished to be treated. But, not only did David’s anger turn to rage, he was determined to seek revenge.
1. Fallen, selfish human nature has a strong urge to pay people back for what they have done (get
revenge). We must recognize this trait and learn to control that trait.
a. Revenge is anything you do (from major to minor) to pay someone back—the silent treatment,
little digs disguised as humor, shouting at them, avoiding them, withholding something, talking
to other people about that person with the goal of making them look bad, etc.
b. It takes both humility and meekness to give up the right to get even. A humble servant says:
My Lord and Master tells me not, so I won’t. A meek servant recognizes and acknowledges that
person who has wronged me is loved by God and is in need of God’s grace as much as I am.
2. Jesus told His followers to turn the other cheek (Matt 5:39). He wasn’t telling us to be doormats.
Jesus’ point is: Don’t repay evil for evil. Resist the urge we all have to retaliate and get revenge
when someone insults us, disrespects us, or mistreats us.
a. Jesus is our example in this. Peter wrote that when Jesus was arrested, tried, and crucified: He
did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He
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left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly (I Pet 2:23, NLT).
b. Not only did Jesus say no to that urge at His trial, notice what Jesus prayed while hanging on the
Cross: Luke 23:34—Father, forgive these people, because they don’t know what they are doing
(NLT). Jesus not obeyed His Father, He viewed His persecutors through the eyes of love.
3. We all struggle with this, in part because of the fallenness in our flesh, that tendency to exalt self.
But it’s also because we misunderstand what it means to give up revenge and forgive. To forgive
means that you give up your right to get repayment for the wrong that was done to you.
a. Forgiveness, like love, is not a feeling. It is an action you take based on a decision you make
about how you treat someone. Forgiveness is an act of mercy and grace.
b. By forgiving someone, you aren’t saying that what they did was okay. It doesn’t mean that you
approve of, or are excusing, what they did. It doesn’t mean pretending that you’re not hurt. It
doesn’t mean you have to let them keep hurting you, or that you lose all memory of the event.
1. Forgiveness means that, just as God has done for you, you show them mercy and grace.
And, like God, you choose not to keep calling to mind the wrong done to you.
2. I Cor 13:5—Love…takes no account of the evil done to it—pays no attention to suffered
wrongs (Amp); love keeps no score of wrongs (NEB).
c. Through forgiveness, we demonstrate God our Father’s character just as Jesus, the Perfect Son
did. God is kind to those who don’t deserve it (Luke 6:35-36; Matt 5:44-45). And, through His
sacrifice at the Cross, He opened the way for us to be forgiven of our sin (Rom 5:1; 8-10).
d. Almighty God has freely forgiven us of everything, and we have no right to withhold forgiveness
from others. When we refuse to forgive, we exalt ourselves above God by saying: In this case,
I know better than you, Lord. When we refuse to forgive, we keep ourselves in bondage.
4. I mentioned this several lessons ago, but it bears repeating. Someone I was close to did something
that caused great harm to someone else who is very important to me. Not only did I feel personally
betrayed, the effects of their actions altered the course of the other person’s life.
a. I had a very difficult time with all of it. I couldn’t forgive them. I hoped they’d be publicly
exposed and get what they deserved for what they had done. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
b. But then I read something that Peter wrote, and it set me free: I Pet 3:9—Never return evil for
evil or insult for insult—scolding, tongue-lashing, berating; but on the contrary blessing—
praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them (Amp).
1. That last phrase jumped out at me and I knew I needed to obey it. I began to pray the phrase
for the person. I didn’t mean it or feel it. It was simply an act of obedience. At first, I
couldn’t get the part about loving them and having compassion on them out of my mouth.
2. But, over a period of time, I began to experience relief from the relentless, tormenting
thoughts I’d had for months. It got to the point where I could pray that last part and mean it.
3. Sometime later I saw this person as a big church conference (they didn’t see me). I had a
little battle within myself because I knew I had to greet them with kindness. I sat down in
the nearest seat and prayed: Help me Lord—not my will but yours. I got up to greet them,
but they had disappeared into the crowd. But I knew I was free from something ugly in me.
D, Conclusion: When we acknowledge Jesus as Lord, He indwells us by His Spirit (the Holy Spirit), and a
process of restoration begins that will ultimately make us fully like Jesus in character and behavior.
1. We now have the potential to be meek and humble (or bear fruit) because we are united to Jesus and
His life, through the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God in us helps us change the way we think through
the Bible, the written Word of God. As our thinking changes, so does our behavior toward others.
2. God will help us grow in humility and meekness. Ask the Lord to help you see people the way that
He sees them. Ask Him to help you to treat others as you want to be treated. More next week!
