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THE LAW OF LOVE
A. Introduction: We’re talking about judging others as part of a larger series on the importance of developing
Christ-like character, or becoming increasingly like Jesus in thought, word, and deed.
1. People wrongly believe that the Bible tells us not to judge. No where does the Bible tell us not to judge.
Rather it tells us how to judge. To judge means to form an opinion about something or someone.
a. Jesus made the classic statement about judging when He told us to take care of the log in our own
eye before we try to take the speck out of another person’s eye. Jesus was warning us against
forming harsh, critical, condemning judgments (opinions) from a position of superiority. Matt 7:1-5
1. We pointed out that human beings are born with a bent toward selfishness, a self-focus that
inclines us to put (or exalt) ourselves above God and above others. Isa 53:6
2. We all have a tendency to find fault in other people and then condemn them for what we excuse
in ourselves. This selfish trait must be exposed and dealt with if we are going to live a life
that brings honor and credit to the Lord. Rom 2:1; II Sam 12:1-7; Eph 4:1
b. This topic (judging others) cannot be separated from the big picture—why God created us. God
created human beings to become His holy and righteous sons and daughters, through faith in Him.
1. God’s plan is that we live in loving relationship with Him, as we accurately represent Him to
the world around us. Eph 1:4-5; Matt 5:16; Eph 1:12; etc.
2. Jesus is the pattern for God’s family (Rom 8:29). Jesus is God become fully man without
ceasing to be fully God. In His humanity, Jesus shows us what sons and daughters of God look
like. He demonstrated, and taught about, God the Father’s character (His moral attributes).
A. Jesus called men and women to come to Him, learn from Him, and copy His example. In
that context, the first thing Jesus said about Himself is I am meek and humble. Matt 11:29
B. To be humble means to go low. The one who is humble sees himself as a servant of God
and a servant of man. To be meek means be gentle, and control your anger toward others.
2. We’ve already covered much information about judging in previous lessons. Tonight we’re going to
emphasize an additional element, the connection between judging others and your mouth.
a. In many Christian circles today, there is great emphasis on our mouth and how we use our words.
However, we’ve limited controlling our mouth and our words to confessing Scriptures and refusing
to say anything negative about ourselves or our circumstances.
b. This isn’t necessarily wrong, but it is incomplete. The overwhelming emphasis in the Scriptures
has to do with how we talk to and about other people, both of which are keys part of judging others.
B. The apostle James specifically connects our mouth and how we speak about others with the Law of God and
sinful judgment (condemning others harshly from a position of superiority).
1. Before we examine what James wrote, we need to make some statements about God’s Law. The Bible
uses the term Law to mean the revealed will of God with regard to human conduct. God’s Law is the
public revelation of God’s will for man—His moral Law, His standard of right and wrong.
a. There are a number of aspects to God’s Law, and it has been expressed in various forms throughout
history (lessons for another day). But the essence is the same in each expression.
b. When Jesus was on earth He summed up the essence of God’s Law when someone asked Him, what
is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus summed God’s Law up in two statements.
1. Matt 22:37-38—You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all
your mind (Deut 6:5). This is the first and greatest commandment (Matt 22:37-37, NLT).
2. Matt 22:39-40—A second is equally important. ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ (Lev 19:18).
All the other commandments and all the demands of the Law and the prophets are based on
these two commandments (NLT).
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c. God is a God of law, but it is a law of love—love expressed toward God and toward our fellow man.
The love we are commanded to express toward God and others is not a feeling. It is an action.
1. To love God means to obey His moral law (His standard of right and wrong) with (in) all (every
part) of your being (John 14:21). To love your neighbor means to treat others as you want to
be treated (Matt 7:12).
2. John the apostle wrote: If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he
who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And
this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother (I John
4:20-21, ESV).
d. The number one way that we express our love for God is by the way that we treat people—the ones
we like and those we don’t like. We are not expected to have feelings of love for everyone, but God
expects us to treat others the way we want to be treated and as He has treated us. Matt 7:7-12
2. Now let’s read what James wrote about God’s Law, judging, and our mouth: James 4:11-12—Don’t
speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn
each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God’s law. But you are not a judge who can decide
whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it. God alone, who made the law, can rightly
judge among us. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to condemn
your neighbor (NLT)?
a. James tells us that if we criticize and condemn each other then, we are condemning God’s Law.
He made reference this law earlier in his epistle. James called it the royal law, or the Law of Love.
1. James referenced it in the context of treating some people differently than others because of
their social status—or judging people from a position of superiority and showing partiality.
2. James 2:8-10—Yes indeed, it is good when you truly obey our Lord’s royal command found in
the Scriptures: “Love you neighbor as yourself”. But if you pay special attention to the rich,
you are committing a sin, for you are guilty of breaking that law. And the person who keeps all
of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God’s laws (NLT).
3. In other words, even if you don’t commit adultery or murder people, you break God’s Law (His
Law of Love) by the way you treat people. James 2:12—So whenever you speak, or whatever
you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free (NLT).
b. Back to James 4:11-12. James says that when we speak evil against each other we are condemning
God’s Law (His royal Law of Love). The Greek word that is translated speak evil means to speak
against or slander. It can be translated as backbiter. To backbite means to say mean, spiteful,
malicious things about someone who is absent.
1. Earlier, James wrote that: The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do…
Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against those
who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of
the same mouth. Surely my brothers and sisters, this is not right (James 3:5-9, NLT)
2. The Greek word translated curse means to declare to be evil or detestable, to wish ruin or doom
on someone, to wish them evil. It is the opposite of blessing or wishing them well.
c. We make mental decisions about or judge people all the time. But we often do it from a position of
superiority without having all the facts or giving them the benefit of the doubt.
1. We then express those judgments with our mouth: I’d never be that stupid. He’s an idiot.
I’d never do that. (Here’s a little side note. The word cussing is a form of the word cursing.)
2. You may be thinking: I didn’t say it to the person directly, so where’s the harm. But that’s
not really the issue. The issue is the attitude in your heart toward another person.
3. Notice that James refers to people as beings made in the image of God—this includes both you
and the one you are cursing or blessing. Do you think of people as loved by and valuable to
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God even in their fallen condition?
A. To curse people is wrong because they are made by God, in His image, with the capacity to
become His sons and daughters. People matter to God. Other people matter to God as
much as you do.
B. The way you talk to yourself about others feeds your view of them, your attitude toward
them, and your treatment of them. God’s Law of Love commands us to treat others as we
want to be treated. How do you want people to talk about you? Matt 7:12
C. We’re to follow Jesus’ example. Everything we do, including talking about others, we are
to do with humility and meekness—including judging people. Would Jesus view and talk
about that person the way you are? Matt 11:29
3. Consider something that Paul the apostle wrote about the connection between our mouth and God’s Law
of Love in his Epistle to the Galatians. We need some background information first.
a. Jesus was born into 1st century Israel. Their social, civil, and religious life was governed by what
became known as the Law of Moses. The Law of Moses was one expression of God’s Law. It
was given by God to Moses at Mount Sinai after Israel was delivered from slavery in Egypt.
1. Much of the ceremonial laws and rituals in the Law of Moses were meant to foreshadow or
picture Jesus and His redemptive work. This all came to an end with the death of Jesus.
2. However, there was debate and contention among the first Christians over the place of the Law
of Moses in the life of believers (lessons for another day).
b. Paul wrote to the churches in Galatia to address this issue (lessons for another day). But he made a
statement that gives us insight relevant to our topic, the connection between judging and our mouth.
1. Paul emphasized that Christians are free in Christ from keeping the ceremonial Law of Moses,
but not free from the Law of Love. The fact that we are free from the ceremonial Law does not
excuse us from loving others. Our freedom is not an excuse for selfishness.
A. Gal 5:13-14—For you, brethren, were [indeed] called to freedom: Only [do not let your]
freedom be an incentive to your flesh and an opportunity or excuse [for selfishness], but
through love you should serve one another. The whole Law [concerning human
relationship] is complied with in one precept; You shall love your neighbor as yourself
(Amp).
B. Paul then contrasted loving and serving each other with biting and devouring one another.
Gal 5:15—But if instead of showing love among yourselves you are always biting and
devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another (NLT).
2. These people had religious disputes (differing opinions and judgments) over the Law of Moses
that led to pride, anger, ill-will, and continual contention. And they were wounding and
tearing each other with words.
3. James, in his epistle, wrote that these kinds of judgments and quarrels come from the selfish
bent we all have in our corrupted human nature: What causes fights and quarrels among you?
Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you (James 4:1, NIV)?
A. Consider this thought. One way we bite and devour each other is through sarcasm. We
mask cutting remarks, digs, and complaints against others with humor. Sarcasm comes
from a Greek word that literally means to tear flesh, bite the lips, or sneer.
B. We’re supposed to edify (build) each other up through our words (lessons for another day):
Eph 4:29—Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and
helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear (NLT).
C. The Greek word that is translated foul or abusive is this verse means worthless (literally or
morally). It is used to mean defiling speech. To defile means to make dirty.
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C. Possibly you’re thinking that we all talk about each other in negative ways, and we all say things that we
wouldn’t want the other person to hear. It’s just part of being human. It’s not that big of a deal.
1. There are times when we have to talk negatively about others in order to deal with problems related to
them. But most of us talk too much about other people, and, in a multitude of words, there is no lack of
sin. Prov 10:19—Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow (NLT).
2. As we’ve said previously, all of us have specific situations we must deal with, and in these lessons we
can only discuss general principles and then ask the Holy Spirit to help us practically apply them. As
we said, there are times we need to talk negatively’ to or about other people. But, consider these points.
a. We unconsciously assess and judge people and speak badly about them: That person looks
ridiculous in those clothes. Why doesn’t that person keep their car clean? How lazy are they?
Why do we talk about people in this way? Part of it is habit.
1. We live in a culture that constantly critiques people. Every form of media thrives on giving us
intimate details about people and events that are none of our business.
2. Our culture gives us permission and even encourages us to talk about people we don’t know and
assess (judge) things about their lives, motives, and characters that we can’t possible know.
b. Often times it isn’t what we say, it’s why we say it. Why did you say what you said to or about that
person? To build them up, to edify them, or to tear them down? To let loose some information
that will make them look bad or feel bad or make you look good or feel good?
1. Remember that in Jesus’ classic statement on judging He was not taking issue with judging,
forming opinions, or believing that what the other person is doing is wrong. Matt 7:1-5
2. Jesus was addressing the motive and attitude behind the judging. Jesus was talking about
dealing with another person harshly from a position of superiority and condemning them.
c. Keep in mind that when you talk about someone who is not present they have no opportunity to
defend themselves, to give their perspective, or to give more facts. Ask yourself:
1. Would you say what you are going to say if that person was present? Would you say it the way
you are going to say it if that person was present?
2. Even if your intent in what you are saying is not malicious, what if your facts are incomplete or
wrong? The Pharisees condemned Jesus based on misinformation. They judged that He
couldn’t be the Messiah because He wasn’t born in Bethlehem. John 7:40-43
3. Remember, there are always two sides to every story. Prov 18:17—Any story sounds true
until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight (TLB).
3. We need to become more aware of what we say about other people—men and women made in the image
of God, men and women whom God loves so much He sent His Son to die for them—and why we say it.
How would I want to be treated or talked about if the roles were reversed and I was being talked about?
a. We can bless God (glorify and magnify Him) with the words of our mouth. We can bless men,
edify and speak life to them). Our mouths can be an instrument of grace and peace.
b. Yet, we use our mouths to slander, to gossip, to beat down, to gush out bitterness, hatred, judgment
and unforgiveness. We fill our mouths with useless words. We waste this powerful instrument of
blessing and victory, our tongue, by biting and devouring one another.
D. Conclusion: I realize that these lessons can be difficult to listen to. I’m not trying to condemn anyone or
make us feel bad. I’m trying to challenge us to think before we speak or act. Make an effort to grow in
Christ-likeness and become increasingly like Him. Consider these two thoughts as we close.
1. Do you see yourself as a servant? Are you working on developing humility and meekness? Does the
way you talk about other people honor God? We are called to obey the Law of Love in word and deed.
2. We’re finished works in progress, fully God’s sons and daughters, but not yet fully like Jesus in character
(I John 3:2). But if your heart is set on growing in Christ-likeness then God is pleased with you.