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DENY SELF, FOLLOW JESUS
A. Introduction: We’ve begun a new series on how Jesus wants us to live and have more to say tonight. We’re
getting our information from the New Testament, which was written by eyewitnesses of Jesus (or close
associates of eyewitnesses). According to the eyewitnesses, Jesus wants people to follow Him.
1. When Jesus was on earth He called men and women to follow Him. In 1st century Israel the word
follow carried the idea of follow as a disciple or a learner. Matt 4:19; Matt 8:22; Matt 9:9; Matt 19:21
a. Men known as rabbis (or teachers) would call or invite men to follow them as learners or disciples.
A disciple was supposed to learn from his rabbi’s teachings. But he was also supposed to imitate or
copy his teacher’s example, and seek to be like him. That’s how Jesus wants us to live. We learn
from Him and we copy or imitate His example. In other words, we follow Him.
b. Jesus defined what it meant to follow Him as denying self: If any one desires to be My disciple, let
him deny himself—that is, disregard, lose sight of and forget himself and his own interests and take
up his cross and follow Me (Matt 16:24, Amp); give up all rights to himself (J. B. Phillips); put aside
selfish ambitions (NLT); say no to himself (NIRV).
1. To deny one’s self means to change the end for which you live, from living for self (doing
things your way) to living for God (doing things His way), even when it’s hard or costly. This
has to do with the intent of your heart. Is the intent of your heart to please God or self?
2. To deny oneself means to obey God’s commands even when it’s difficult and you don’t feel
like it—just as Jesus did. Matt 26:39
A. Jesus summarized God’s commandments to us in two statements: Love God with all your
heart, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Matt 22:37-40
B. This kind of love is an action as opposed to a feeling. To love God means to obey His
written Word. To love your neighbor means to treat others as you want to be treated.
2. When Jesus talked about denying self He was not asking for a state of super-spiritual development that
only a few people can achieve. He was, is, talking about ordinary Christianity for ordinary Christians—
what should be normal for all who are followers of Jesus.
a. Human beings were created to live in voluntary submission and obedience to God, as sons and
daughters who are full glorifying to Him. That is the place of full joy and peace.
1. Living for self (doing things your way) is abnormal. Human beings inherit a corruption from
Adam that inclines us to put our will and our way above God’s will and way. We’re born with
a bent toward selfishness, putting ourselves first, above God and others.
2. Jesus died to return us to normal—(He) died for everyone so that those who receive his new life
will no longer live to please themselves. Instead they will live to please Him (II Cor 5:15, NLT).
b. Jesus, in His humanity, is our example of what normal looks like for a human being. He is the
pattern for God’s family—For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like
his Son (Rom 8:29, NLT). Jesus was fully obedient, fully pleasing to God the Father in every way.
3. Jesus called men and women to: Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly
in heart (Matt 11:28, ESV).
a. First century men and women understood the phrase “take my yoke upon you” to mean submit to
me. Jesus invites His followers to submit to Him and learn from Him.
1. To submit means to give over or yield to the power or authority of another. This is another
way of saying deny self. Note that in the context of submitting to and learning from Him, the
first thing that Jesus said about Himself is: I am gentle (meek) and lowly in heart (humble).
2. Both of these traits are expressions of character, or the kind of person you are. Character has to
do with your moral or ethical qualities, your standards of right and wrong.
b. Meekness and humility are attitudes (ways of thinking or perspectives) that affect how you relate to
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God and to other people.
1. The Greek word translated humility means lowliness of mind. It is an attitude of complete
dependence on God for everything. Humility recognizes that without God I am nothing (Gal
6:3); I know nothing (I Cor 8:2); I have nothing (I Cor 4:7); I can do nothing (John 15:5).
A. The one who is humble sees his true relation to God and man. Humility recognizes that I
am a servant of God and a servant of man.
B. A servant is a person who is devoted to another. He serves God through obedience and
reverence. He serves his fellow man by treating people the way he wants to be treated.
2. The Greek word translated meekness is often translated as gentle or gentleness. Meekness is
the opposite of all that is harsh, bitter, or sharp and is frequently contrasted with anger.
A. Meekness is an expression of self-control. When you are inflamed by anger because you
are offended, hurt, frustrated, annoyed, or angry, to be meek means to restrain your temper.
B. Meekness is the result of a strong man or woman’s choice to control his reactions in
submission and obedience to God.
c. We think of humility as not bragging about ourselves, or as beating ourselves up because of our sins,
faults, and failures. And we think of meekness as being weak, timid, or fearful. These ideas are
incorrect. Jesus had no sin, and He was not weak, timid, or fearful. Yet He was meek and humble.
1. Humility and meekness are not natural traits for fallen human beings. Some of us may be more
gentle or submissive by disposition or because of our upbringing. Just as we all look different,
we all have different temperaments. But that is biological or environmental.
2. Humility and meekness are characteristics produced by God’s grace, by His Spirit, the Holy
Spirit, working in us as we cooperate with Him through obedience to His commands. This is
Christ’s character formed in us. Remember, our goal is Christ-likeness, to become like Jesus.
4. Before continuing we need to make this point. Lessons like this can be overwhelming because the
standard set for us seems impossible—to be like Jesus in character and behavior—and we all fall short.
a. Remember that becoming like Jesus is a process that will not be fully completed until we see Jesus
face to face. Right now we are finished works in progress—fully God’s sons and daughters
through faith in Christ, but not yet fully Christ-like in every part of our being. I John 3:1-2
b. In this type of lesson our mind immediately goes to performance, or what I must do. But the will to
be Christ-like comes before performance. Purpose, intent (motive) is as important as performance.
1. Your heart can truly be set on doing things God’s way (denying self) but it takes a while to learn
what He wants and then to recognize in yourself things that need to change (selfishness).
2. No one expects a five year old to act like a twenty year old, but he is expected to act like a five
year old. You don’t need fully developed, Christ-like character to be pleasing to God, but you
do need purity of motive—I want to please God, to do His will, and I put forth effort to do so.
B. Talk of denying self and following Jesus sounds super spiritual. What does this look like in everyday life, as
we live our lives and interact with other people? How do we do it? It’s more practical than you may think.
1. Part of learning to deny self and follow Jesus is recognizing and dealing with pride, because self
expresses itself is through pride. Pride and selfishness work together.
a. The dictionary defines pride as excessive self esteem. Several Greek words are translated pride and
proud, and all are used in a negative sense—arrogant, disdainful. Pride exalts self, raises and
elevates self. Pride thinks more highly of itself than it ought.
b. Pride is the opposite of humility or lowliness of mind. We see this contrast in the Bible: God
opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6, ESV; I Pet 5:5, ESV).
2. Possibly you’re thinking: I’m not proud. I don’t have pride. I don’t go around bragging about myself.
And, I actually have a very low opinion of myself and low self-esteem. Consider these thoughts.
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a. Pride or thinking more highly of self that you ought is part of fallen human nature. Exalting self
has to do with attitudes and motives. Often times pride is expressed, not in what we do but in the
motives and attitudes behind the actions.
b. Let’s take prayer as an example. Prayer is a good thing, but two people can pray with entirely
different motives, one coming out of humility and the other out of pride. One prayer could be a
heartfelt expression of love for God and man, while the other is an expression of pride.
1. Jesus talked about prayer that is motivated by a desire to be seen and recognized by others:
And now about prayer. When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly
on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them (Matt 6:5, NLT).
2. When you are asked to pray in front of others, do you turn your prayers into little sermons that
let people see how many scriptures you know? Why do you do that? So that people will be
impressed with what you know and praise you for it, or so that people will be lifted up and
encouraged and God will be glorified?
c. Pride (exalting self) wants to be noticed. Pride has an opinion on everything. Even if it’s never
been there, never owned one, has no personal knowledge of the person or the situation, pride
believes it’s qualified to comment, or wants the listener to think it’s qualified to comment.
1. Do you always talk about yourself? Do you manage to work yourself and your opinions,
successes, revelations, possessions, insights, experience into the conversation? Pride has to let
you know that I know something about the subject so that you will be impressed with me.
2. We must learn to honestly examine why we do and say things. Is it to bless or impress people?
Are you trying to get a response from them about how smart you are, how perceptive you are,
how spiritual you are? What is the motive behind the action?
3. All of us have a genuine need for love, acceptance, and a sense of value and self-worth, and want people
to appreciate us. If we do something nice for someone, or do a good job on something, we all want
recognition for it.
a. However, because of the corruption in our flesh, it is possible to have an inordinate (overdeveloped)
need for the approval of others. Once again, it comes back to motives. We all sometimes do
things, not out of genuine concern for people, but to get the response we need or want.
b. Is your motive for what you do to draw attention to you, to draw a response or praise from people?
If so, that could be pride because your focus is self and your motive is to exalt self.
1. If someone doesn’t give you the appreciation and praise that is appropriate for what you have
done, do you take offense? Why did you do what you did? Was it for their good or your
good, to help and bless them or to get praise from them?
2. If you have truly been slighted by someone, that’s between them and God. You have to not
take offense, and walk in love, forgiveness, and humility toward them. Pride won’t do that.
c. Jesus is our example. He did not seek His own glory: I receive not glory from men—I crave no
human honor, I look for no mortal fame (John 5:41, Amp).
1. Jesus said that if you’re seeking the honor and glory that comes from men you’re not seeking
the honor that comes from God. He said: No wonder you can’t believe! For you gladly
honor each other, but you don’t care about the honor that comes from God alone (John 5:44,
NLT).
2. Paul, who was a follower (an imitator) of Christ wrote to the Thessalonians: As for praise, we
have never asked for it from you or anyone else (I Thess 2:6, NLT).
4. We not only have a natural tendency to want praise and credit from men, we want to be exalted or above
others. One way we do this is by ruling over others.
a. We can’t all be kings, or the most powerful or the strongest, so we have to find other ways to exalt
ourselves and rule over others. We often do this through our thoughts and attitudes.
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1. We make ourselves superior in our own minds: He’s an idiot. How could anyone be so
stupid as to believe or act like that? I’d never do that. These could be expressions of pride.
2. Humility says: I don’t have all the facts in this situation. If I did, maybe I’d agree with his
viewpoint or decisions. If I were in his situation, maybe I’d make an even worse decision.
3. Pride tries make people do what we want through manipulation, guilt, or intimidation. We
justify it by telling ourselves that we have the wisdom that this is for their good.
A. Trying to make someone do something is pride. You’re exalting yourself to a position of
superiority over them. You are their corrector. Yes, but I have the wisdom they need.
B. Maybe your wisdom isn’t as helpful as you think it is. Overestimating yourself can be an
expression of pride. Even if your wisdom is what they need, the Holy Spirit doesn’t make
people do anything. Neither should we. Humility is a servant of others.
b. When Jesus’ disciples, James and John, asked Him to give them positions of honor in His kingdom,
Jesus told all His disciples: You know that in this world kings are tyrants and officials lord it over
the people beneath them. But among you it should be quite different. Whoever wants to be a
leader among you must be your servant (Mark 10:42-44, NLT).
5. Pride is not interested in others, their situations, their views. Pride is not a good listener and pride is an
interrupter. Humility listens, out of respect for the other person, even when it’s sure it’s right.
a. Humility accepts the possibility that it may be missing some information on the subject which that
person may have. Even if I know I’m right, humility moves me to seriously listen to you.
b. Paul, in his letter to believers in the Greek city of Philippi, gives a very practical description of what
it looks like to deny self or to follow Jesus by being humble and meek in everyday life.
c. Paul wrote in Phil 2:3-5—Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be
humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be
interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ
Jesus had (NLT). Jesus was a servant of God and a servant of man.
6. Does this mean that it is pride to think well of yourself? No. To beat yourself up because of how rotten
you are is just as self focused as exalting and praising yourself for how great you are. To say that you
can’t sing when you have a great voice can be false humility aimed at getting people to marvel at how
humble you are. The issue is having an accurate picture of yourself.
a. Pride is an expression of independence from God. Humility is an attitude of complete dependence
on God for everything. Humility recognizes that without God I am nothing, know nothing, have
nothing, and can I can do nothing.
b. Paul wrote: What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn’t
given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished
something on your own (I Cor 4:7, NLT)?
1. Even if you are the smartest, greatest, richest, most talented and best looking person on earth,
without God you have nothing.
2. Humility recognizes that the praise, the credit, belongs to God, not to you. If He took His help
and grace away, you have nothing, know nothing, be nothing, do nothing.
C. Conclusion: Don’t let these lessons discourage you. Let them challenge and encourage you. Honestly
examine your motives. And remember that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it. Phil
1:6
1. When you recognize pride in yourself, admit it. Confess it to God, repent, and purpose to turn from it.
Ask God to help you deal with it. Ask Him to help to turn from self and walk increasingly in humility
2. Following Jesus is more than keeping a list of rules. It’s changing the end for which you live. It’s
growing in Christ-likeness so that you can accurately represent Him to the world. More next week!