1. Part of gaining control over your emotions and thoughts so that they don’t move you from your trust in
God or drive you to sin is gaining control over your self-talk or the way you talk to yourself.
a. Self-talk is that constant chatter that goes on in our head. Self-talk plays a major role in shaping
and maintaining the way we view life as well as how we deal with life.
1. In a teaching Jesus did, He illustrated how what we see, combined with emotions, thoughts,
and self-talk, can work together to move us from a place of trust in God.
2. In Matt 6:25-34 Jesus instructed His followers not to be worried about where the necessities
of life will come from. In v31 He specifically instructed them to take no thought, saying.
A. This is the process we all experience. We see or hear something (in this case, lack) and
the emotion of worry is stimulated. Then thoughts begin to come to us. We pick them up
and begin to talk to ourselves: Where will we get food? Where will we get clothing?
B. As we talk, we either feel more worried and more anxious or reassured and encouraged,
depending on what we tell ourselves. That’s how we’re wired, that’s how God made us.
If you’re experiencing emotions, you’re also having thoughts, and you’re talking to
yourself about all of it.
b. Because of our fallen flesh, we have a tendency to engage and answer the thoughts and questions
that come to us when our emotions are aroused based only on what we see and feel in the moment. .
1. We also have a tendency to let our emotions and immediate thoughts lead to other, even more
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dire thoughts. As emotions and thoughts feed each other our self-talk gets crazier
2. We tend to embellish and speculate once our emotions get going: This is the worst thing that
could happen. I’ll never make it through. No one else has to deal with stuff like this.
A. If you’re using words like “nobody, everybody, or always” you’re probably embellishing
and speculating because you don’t know everybody or everything that has ever happened
to everybody or what will happen to you in the future.
B. You’ll recall that at the border of Canaan the Hebrew people didn’t want to enter the land
God gave them because they were certain they would die. Yet in the same breath, they
were saying: We wish we had died in Egypt or the wilderness instead of here. God
brought us out here to kill us all. Num 14:1-3
2. Several weeks ago we looked at an incident in David’s life that occurred while he was on the run from
King Saul. I Sam 25
a. David spent time in the wilderness of Paran where, among other things, he and his men interacted
with shepherds who worked for a wealthy man named Nabal.
1. David heard that Nabal shearing his sheep, so he sent some of his men to ask if Nabal could
give them some provisions. This was not an unreasonable request because sheep-shearing
was a time of celebration and guests frequently participated. And, David had treated Nabal’s
shepherds well when their paths crossed before. v7,8;15,16
2. Nabal’s refused and his response was insulting and less than neighborly and it made David so
angry that he took four hundred armed men and went to kill Nabal’s household. v10-13
b. There’s no indication that David did anything to try to quell his anger or think in terms of, “How
would God want me to act in this situation”. Instead, he fueled his anger with his self-talk.
1. v21,22–As Abigail approached, “David had just been saying, “a lot of good it did to help this
fellow. We protected his flocks in the wilderness, and nothing he owned was lost or stolen.
But he repaid me evil for good’” (NLT). Then he asked God to bless his plan to kill everyone.
2. Note that David had treated Nabal’s in a godly way, yet he’s feeding on the fact that he didn’t
get the response from them he felt he deserved. So, what was his motive in helping the men?
To obey God or to get something?
A. This is a lesson for another day, but sometimes the root of our anger comes out of wrong
motives in us.
B. Additionally, when we’re upset, we tend to talk, not just about what someone did, but
about why we think they did it and further fuel our emotions.
1. We’re angry, not because of what they did, but because of why we think they did it.
But you can’t for certain why someone did something unless they tell you.
2. Example: Someone ignores us at church and we speculate about why he did it (to
hurt me, disrespect me; etc). It turns out, he ignored you because he didn’t see you.
His attention was focused on some bad new he just received.
3. Consider another example found in the story of Jacob and his brother Esau. Jacob took his brother
Esau’s birthright (all his rights as the firstborn) and blessing (a father’s blessing for his firstborn).
There are many lessons in this account, but note several points for our discussion. Gen 27
a. As their father, Isaac, was dying and the time had come to give the firstborn his blessing, Jacob
pretended to be Esau and tricked his father into blessing him.
b. Esau reacted to what was done to him with bitterness (wept bitterly, Gen 27:34). Bitterness is
intense hostility and resentment toward someone. It was natural for Esau to feel severe pain over
such a big disappointment and loss.
1. But notice how Esau talked to himself about what happened (Gen 27:36). He went through a
list of offenses against Jacob: Jacob stole my birthright and now he has stolen my blessing.
A. The truth is that Esau gave up his birthright for a bowl of stew (Gen 25:29-34). We are
told that he despised his birthright. He didn’t value the blessing God gave to him.
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B. The hurt and pain of an offense can skew your perception of reality. That is why we have
to look to the word of God for accurate information in the situation.
2. Notice also what Esau did with his emotional pain. Gen 27:41,42–He comforted himself by
planning his revenge on Jacob, meditated on evil and fed the resentment and bitterness.
4. Let’s go back to Matt 6 where Jesus taught His followers not to worry by exhorting them not to engage
certain thoughts and feed them with self-talk.
a. He also directed His listeners to focus their attention, not on lack, but on their Father in Heaven by
looking at the provision He gives to creatures who matter to Him: birds and flowers. v26-31
b. Recalling our Father’s goodness and wonderful works in the face of challenging circumstances
feeds our faith and trust in Him which in turn calms our emotions.
c. Getting control of our emotions and thoughts requires both a short-term and a long-term strategy.
1. Short term: Control your mouth and change your focus. Instead of talking about what is
wrong and how it’s getting worse, acknowledge and praise God with your mouth. Recall His
past help and promise of provision. Remind yourself that nothing’s bigger than God.
2. Long term: Change your view of reality so that this response becomes the way you see life
and not just a formula to get immediate relief. And, let the Word of God expose the flaws in
your flesh that that make you blind to the fact that the way you handle your emotions in some
areas not only undermines your trust in Him, but is actually ungodly. Heb 4:12