.

TCC–1287
1
DO I HAVE TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK?
A. Introduction: For the last two weeks we’ve been talking about judging other people, as part of a larger series
on developing Christ-like character—or becoming increasingly like Jesus in our motives and actions.
1. Jesus made the classic statement about judging in His Sermon on the Mount, when He talked about
taking the log out of your eye before you try to deal with the speck in your brother’s eye. Matt 7:1-5
a. Remember what we said in the previous lessons. Jesus wasn’t teaching that we should not judge.
Rather He was telling us how to judge. Jesus was addressing our motives and attitudes as we judge.
b. Jesus warned us against harsh, critical judgment from a position of superiority. This type of
judging leads us to look down on and even despise others.
2. Harsh, critical judging comes out of a self-righteous attitude. We see ourselves as better than others and
treat them that way, even if it’s only in our thoughts or the way we talk about them. Luke 18:9-12
a. This kind of judging sees faults in others and then assess people from a position of superiority—I’d
never do anything that stupid or disgusting. But the Bible makes it clear that we’re all capable of
making the same kinds of mistakes and committing the same kind of sins. I Cor 10:12-13
b. This kind of judging rushes to judge without having all the facts or understanding the circumstances.
We assign motives to people which we have no way of knowing, and then deal with them based why
we think they did what they did, instead of based on what they did. Prov 18:13; 17; I Sam 16:7
c. This sinful judging can come out of a misplaced zeal for righteous that is actually self-righteousness.
Your assessment may be objectively correct, but it comes out of pride or self-exaltation.
1. Are you a fault finder, a rule keeper who looks for flaws in others? Are you quick to “help” by
offering criticism and unsolicited advice or by trying to teach others a lesson with your words?
2. Do you have trouble acknowledging good in others? They do ten things right, and you point
out the one thing that isn’t right. Or do you presume that they’re going to do wrong before they
do it, and then treat them accordingly. All of that is self-exaltation or pride.
3. We made the point in previous lessons that we must consider this topic in terms of the big picture or
our created purpose. God created us to become His holy, righteous sons and daughters through faith in
Him, and then reflect Him (His moral attributes) to the world around us. Eph 1:4-5; Eph 1:12; I Pet 2:9
a. Jesus, in His humanity, showed and taught us what this looks like. Jesus perfectly expressed God
the Father’s moral attributes, and we are to follow Him or imitate and copy His example. The
number one way we show God is by the way we treat other people.
b. When we examine the context in which Jesus made His statement about dealing with the log in our
own eye before we deal with another person, we find that Jesus tells that Our Heavenly Father is
kind to the unthankful and the evil—and we are to do the same. Luke 6:35-36
1. Jesus said that we are to love those who harm us and those whom we believe are wrong. And,
we are to be merciful and kind, just like our Heavenly Father. Matt 5:44-45
2. This kind of love is an action, not a feeling. We are to treat others the way we want to be
treated and the way that God has treated us. Matt 22:39; Matt 7:7-12
4. This is a difficult topic to discuss since we all judge. We see things in other people that we don’t like or
that we know are sinful—and that is not wrong. But this topic brings up some challenging questions.
a. How far do we have to go with this? Do we have to let people walk all over us or take advantage of
us again and again? Do we have to be around people we don’t like?
1. Many of us have specific situations where there are people in our lives (be it family, friends,
bosses, co-workers, neighbors) who are making our life difficult and or bringing dysfunction
and chaos into our space. What does it look like to be kind, merciful, and loving to them?
2. How do you deal with it in a godly, Christ-like way? How do you accurately portray Christ-
like character as you interact with them? We’re going to address some of these issues tonight.
.

TCC–1287
2
b. As always, in lessons such as these, I can only give you general principles and ask the Holy Spirit
to help you (and me) specifically apply them.
B. Let’s begin by examining other statements that Jesus made in the Sermon on the Mount which are sometimes
misunderstood to mean that we can’t judge, can’t defend ourselves, and must let people take advantage of us.
1. Matt 5:38-42—You have heard that is was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to
you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other
also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone
forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse
the one who would borrow from you (ESV).
a. Are these literal statements? Are we really supposed to let people hurt us, steal from us, and force
us to go the extra mile? Are we supposed to give money to everyone who begs for it, or clear out
our bank account for anyone who wants to borrow money? This seems ridiculous.
b. Keep these points in mind. The Bible is not ridiculous. If our interpretation of a passage is
ridiculous, then we aren’t properly interpreting it. In this same Sermon Jesus said: If your hand
offends you cut it off (Matt 5:30). Jesus was not teaching self-mutilation. He was using a vivid
example to describe the radical steps we may need to take to keep from sinning.
1. In these “turn the other cheek” statements Jesus was dealing with our attitude toward ourselves
and others, not giving us the rules on how to behave in specific situations.
2. If a violent, crazy man comes up and hits me or attacks my family, I can defend and protect
them and me. This is about my attitude toward him and others who wrong me in some way.
2. Throughout His Sermon Jesus focused on motives and attitudes behind our actions. Turn the other
cheek, go the second mile, give your clothes to anyone who asks, and let people borrow from you are
simply examples that Jesus used to illustrate His teaching on proper attitudes and motives for Christians.
a. Jesus calls men and women to deny self, take up their cross, and follow Him: If any one desires to
be My disciple, let him deny himself—that is, disregard, lose sight of and forget himself and his own
interests—and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadily to Me, conform wholly to My
example in living and if need be in dying, also] (Matt 16:24, Amp).
b. Jesus calls us to turn from being self-focused, to being God and other focused, to the point where we
aren’t easily offended, eager to pay people back, demand our rights, or be resentful and greedy.
1. Turn the other cheek—Jesus exhorts us not to repay evil for evil and to get rid of the urge we all
have to retaliate and get revenge. Defending yourself from a man who physically attacks you
is very different from retaliating because someone insults, disrespects, or mistreats you.
A. Jesus is our example of the spirit behind turning the other cheek. I Pet 2:23—He did not
retaliate when he was insulted. When He suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He
left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly (NLT).
B. Paul followed or imitated Jesus (I Co11:1). Note what he wrote to a church where people
were saying unkind and untrue things about him. It matters very little what you or anyone
else thinks…It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide (I Cor 4:3-4, NLT).
2. The tunic and cloak—The tunic was a sack-like inner garment made of cotton or linen. Even
the poor had several tunics. The cloak was a large blanket-like outer garment that served as a
robe by day and a blanket by night. Most people had only one cloak.
A. Under Jewish law, a man’s cloak could not be permanently taken from him. If you took
this garment as a pledge, you had to return it by night. Under the law you could be sued in
court for your tunic, but not for your cloak. Ex 22:26-27
B. Jesus’ point was: Get rid of and don’t act on that self-focused tendency to demand your
rights. This doesn’t mean that you can’t go to court or expect the law to be upheld.
.

TCC–1287
3
1. When Jesus was on trial the night before His crucifixion, the High Priest asked Him
what He had been teaching. Jesus answered: I’ve taught publicly in the synagogues
and in the Temple. Ask the people who heard me teach. For this answer, a Temple
guard struck Jesus on the face, and Jesus didn’t turn the other cheek. John 18:19-22
2. Jesus protested: If I said anything wrong (according to the Law), you must give
evidence. Should you hit a man for telling the truth (John 18:23, NLT)?
3. Go the second mile—The Roman Empire controlled Israel at that time, and it was a common
practice for the military to compel a man to move baggage from one place to the next stage.
A. Jesus was dealing with our natural resentment to the demands people make on us when
they ask us to do something we think we shouldn’t have to do.
B. This is a question of our attitude toward ourselves. We’re to have a servant’s attitude and
the mindset that no power can insult us, since do what we do as unto the Lord. Col 3:23-24
4. Give to him who asks and to him who wants to borrow—Jesus was not urging us to help frauds,
professional beggars, addicts, those who choose not to work, or spend their money on sinful
living. Once again, Jesus is addressing that self-focused attitude—what is mine is mine.
A. Without the Lord, we are nothing and have nothing. I Cor 4:7—What makes you better
than anyone else? What do you have that God’s hasn’t given you? And if all you have is
from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own (NLT).
B. Jesus isn’t telling us to clean out our bank accounts. He’s urging us to identify selfish
attitudes in us that need to go and dealing with our tendency to not help those in real need
when we’re in a position to do so, that tendency to be greedy and hold on to what we have.
C. What does this look like in real life, in situations where people bring dysfunction and chaos into our lives,
people who are not only making poor choices, but sinful choices? What does it look like to be merciful,
kind, and loving to them? How far do we go? Are there any limits?
1. When we talk about being merciful and kind as opposed to harsh, critical, and superior, we aren’t saying
that sin and its effects on our lives and the lives of others should be ignored or overlooked. We serve a
holy God and have been called to live holy lives (I Pet 1:15-16). Consider these general principles.
a. You aren’t wrongly judging when you say that what God says is wrong is wrong. The issue is what
what is your attitude in your judgment? Is it to condemn and punish or to redeem and restore?
b. Consider whether that person is a professing Christian or an unbeliever, because our goal with is
different with each of them.
1. With an unbeliever, the primary goal is not to stop them from sinning, but to bring them to
saving knowledge of, and commitment to Jesus, and let the Lord sort it out with the person.
2. With a believer, the primary goal is to bring them to repentance so that they will stop sinning
and be restored to God. By sinning, I don’t mean the daily struggles we all face and fail at.
I’m talking about a Christian who is persisting in willful sin with the attitude that it is okay for
them to do what they are doing. I’ll say more about this in a moment.
c. Check yourself. Do you see yourself as their superior? Do you have all the facts? Does their
behavior have a direct bearing on your life? Do you have the platform (the right) to speak into their
life? Do you truly care about their eternal fate? Do you recognize that they matter to God?
2. What are the limits to the chaos and sin that people can bring into our lives by their poor choices or sinful
behavior? Consider two examples where Paul drew some definite lines about how to treat such people.
a. Gal 6:1-5—Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.
But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you
will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives
himself. Each one should test (examine) his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself,
.

TCC–1287
4
without comparing himself to somebody else, for each should carry his own (burden) load (NIV).
1. Notice that this passage makes two references to carrying burdens or loads. One verse says
that we should help each other carry them, but the other says we should carry our own burden.
2. The first Greek word translated burden or load always suggests something burdensome or
heavy. The second word is different and refers to the burdens of one’s own responsibilities.
There are many points in this passage, but consider one related to our topic.
A. We are to help each other with the heavy burdens, something that is beyond life’s normal
load. But each of us is responsible to carry the same burdens we all must deal with in this
fallen world—go to work, pay our bills, obey the laws, avoid sinful activities, etc.
B. If someone’s heavy burden is due to the fact that they don’t take care of what they are
responsible for (the burdens of life), then we aren’t obligated to help them with their big
burden, the ones they would not have if they carried their own load.
3. But note that the emphasis is on you and your attitude toward the person overtaken by a sin.
Realize that you’re capable of doing just what he is doing. Deal with him gently (in meekness)
—that’s the Law of Christ (Matt 7:12), and sure that you take care of your own business.
3. I Cor 5:1-13—Once again, there’s more in this passage than we can discuss now, but note the points that
relate to our discussion. Paul wrote deal with a serious situation in the church located in the city of
Corinth. A so-called Christian man was sleeping with his father’s wife.
a. Paul told the church: Concerning the one who has done this, I have already passed judgment in the
name of the Lord Jesus (I Cor 5:3, NLT)…You are to deliver this man over to Satan for physical
discipline—to destroy carnal lusts [which prompted him to incest]—that [his] spirit may [yet] be
saved in the day of the Lord Jesus (I Cor 5:5, Amp).
1. This has to do with church discipline by the leadership (topic for another day). However, note
the point that Christians can and should judge. Paul judged the man and he rebuked the
Corinthians for not judging him.
2. I Cor 5:2; 12—Why are you so proud of yourselves (for your spirituality)! Why aren’t you
mourning in sorrow and shame? Why haven’t you removed this man from your fellowship?
…It is your job to judge those inside the church who are sinning in these ways (NLT).
b. Paul’s judgment (decision about how to handle this situation) was—you need to separate yourselves
from this man. Separating from the man, putting him out of the church, was actually a loving,
redemptive action to take—for the good of those in the church and for the sake of the man himself.
1. Sin has a corrupting effect that can pull others into it: Don’t you realize that if even one person
is allowed to go on sinning, soon all will be affected? Remove this wicked person from among
you so that you can stay pure (I Cor 5:6-7, NLT).
2. It is alright to back away from someone who persists in willful, sinful, destructive behavior.
One, for your good (sin has a corrupting influence on all), and two, for their good. If they
suffer the physical consequences of their sin it may wake them up and bring them to repentance.

D. Conclusion: None of this is about the “rules” of Christianity. It’s about the attitudes and motives behind
our behavior. Are you focused on serving, self or serving God and others, in all that you do?
1. We need to examine ourselves without being condemning (which produces no good results). Yet we
must be honest with ourselves as to why we do what we do. If you aren’t sure, ask God to help you see.
2. Selfish motives can draw us into situations we shouldn’t be involved with—people will think I’m a bad
person if I don’t help. They won’t like me if I speak directly to them and tell them to stop their actions.
3. The bottom line is that God doesn’t ask anyone to let their lives be destroyed by someone’s destructive,
chaotic behavior. But we must realize that selfish motives can also excuse us from being kind to and
patient with people we just don’t like. But that’s a lesson for another day. Much more next week!