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TURN FROM SELFISHNESS AND PRIDE
A. Introduction: We’re working on a series about how Jesus wants us to live. We’re making the point that
Jesus wants men and women to follow Him. To follow Jesus means to seek to be like Him. Seeking to be
like Jesus is more important than anything else you do in this life. We have more to say in tonight’s lesson.
1. Jesus’ call to us to follow Him fits with the big picture, or why God created us. Almighty God created
men and women to become His holy, righteous sons and daughters, who perfectly express Him and His
glory to the world around us. However, sin has cut us off from our created purpose.
a. Jesus is God Incarnate—God become fully man without ceasing to be fully God. Jesus took on a
full human nature in the womb of the virgin Mary so He could die as a sacrifice for sin. Heb 2:14-15
1. Through His sacrificial death, Jesus opened the way for sinful men and women to be restored to
God’s family through faith in Him. I Pet 3:18; Rom 5:1; John 1:12-13; etc.
2. Jesus not only opened the way into God’s family Jesus, in His humanity, shows us what sons
and daughters of God look like. Jesus is the pattern for God’s family. Rom 8:29—For God,
in his foreknowledge chose them to bear the family likeness of his Son (J. B. Phillips).
b. When a person responds to Jesus’ call and acknowledges Him as Lord and Savior, God declares
that person righteous, on the basis of Jesus’ sacrifice.
1. God can then indwell that person by His Spirit and life, beginning a process of transformation
that progressively restores him or her to what they are meant to be—sons and daughters who are
Christ-like in character and behavior.
2. As we actively follow Jesus (seek to be like Him), we are increasingly changed into His
likeness (made like Him in character and behavior) by the power of God, the Holy Spirit, in us.
2. When Jesus was on earth, He defined what it means to follow Him as denying self. Matt 16:24—If any
one desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself—that is, disregard, lose sight of and forget himself
and his own interests and take up his cross and follow Me (Amp).
a. To deny self means to change the end for which you live, from living for yourself (doing things your
way) to living for God (doing things His way), even when it’s difficult and you don’t feel like it.
b. To live according to your standards rather than God’s is abnormal for a human. We were created to
live in voluntary submission to and dependence on God. That is the place of full joy and peace.
1. Deny self and follow Me was actually the first command given to humanity when God told
Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They had to make
the same choice we all must make—choose to do what God says, or do what we think is right.
2. Their decision to eat the forbidden fruit was a choice for self rather than God. They chose
independence from God—we’ll do it our way and set our own standard of right and wrong.
c. Adam’s choice affected the entire human race. All of us inherit a corruption from Adam that
inclines us to put our will and our way above God’s will and God’s way. We’re born with a bent
toward selfishness. We put ourselves first, above God and others.
3. This tendency does not automatically go away simply because we’ve chosen to follow Jesus. We must
put forth effort to turn from our own way. As we work on this series, I urge you remember that the will
to be Christ-like comes before performance. Purpose, intent (or motive) is as important as performance.
a. Your heart can truly be set on doing things God’s way, but it takes a while to learn what He wants,
and then to recognize things in yourself that need to change.
b. You don’t need fully developed, Christ-like character to be pleasing to God, but you do need purity
of motive and purpose—I want to please God and do His will, and I put forth effort to do so.
B. Jesus called men and women to: Take my yoke upon you (submit to me, deny self), and learn from me, for
I am gentle (meek) and lowly in heart (humble) (Matt 11:29, ESV).
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1. Note that in the context of submitting to and learning from Him, the first thing Jesus said about Himself
is: I am meek and humble. Both humility and meekness are expressions of character. Both traits are
the opposite of being focused on yourself.
a. Humility means lowliness of mind. The one who is humble sees his true relation to God and man.
Humility recognizes that I am a servant of God and a servant of man.
b. Meekness has to do with controlling anger. When you’re angry because you’re offended, hurt,
frustrated, or annoyed, to be meek means to restrain your temper. You do not allow anger to drive
you to sin, and you treat others the way you want to be treated. Eph 4:26; Matt 7:12
2. Key to walking in humility and meekness is recognizing selfishness and pride in ourselves. Pride is the
opposite of humility and often leads to behavior that is anything but meek. Pride and selfishness work
together. Selfishness puts self first and pride exalts self.
a. You may be thinking, I’m not I’m not selfish. I’m a nice person. I do a lot for people. I’m not
proud. I don’t brag about myself. I actually have a very low opinion of myself. And, when I’m
angry, there’s good reason for it. None of that means you aren’t selfish—all of us are selfish.
b. Putting self first and exalting self has to do with attitudes and motives. Often times, selfishness and
pride are expressed, not by what we do, but in the motives and attitudes behind our actions.
1. Prayer is a good thing, but two people can pray with entirely different motives, one coming out
of humility and the other out of pride. One prayer could be a heartfelt expression of love for
God and man, while the other is done to gain praise from men. Matt 6:5
2. We must be honest with ourselves. Why do you do what you do or say what you say? Is it to
get attention and praise from other people and raise yourself up? That’s selfishness and pride.
3. Humility is an attitude of mind toward God, self, and others. This attitude affects how you respond to
God and to other people. A humble person has an accurate picture of himself.
a. Humility toward God recognizes that without God I am nothing (Gal 6:3), I know nothing (I Cor
8:2), I have nothing (I Cor 4:7), I can do nothing (John 15:5). Consider these thoughts.
1. Humility isn’t beating yourself up, running yourself down, or refusing praise. You can refuse
praise on the outside, but inwardly, you’re basking in it and priding yourself on your humility.
2. Jesus was humble, yet He did not beat Himself up. It’s not pride to believe and say good things
about yourself as long as they are true.
b. The problem is that we think things about ourselves that aren’t true. We think we have or are
something apart from God. And we think that we are superior to or above others in some way.
1. We take credit for things that are not our doing. We believe we deserve to be praised because
of our wisdom and knowledge, our ability, our talent, our looks, our spiritual revelations.
2. However, any and every good thing in you (in us) is a grace or gift from God. Anything that
comes natural to you or is easy for you, is a grace. You can have it from birth, or God can give
it to you when you surrender to Him. Either way, God gets the credit. Note what Paul wrote:
A. I Cor 4:7—What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn’t
given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished
something on your own (NLT)?
B. Rom 12:3-6—As God’s messenger, I give each of you this warning. Be honest in your
your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you
…God has given to each of us the ability to do certain things well (NLT).
c. We all have a genuine need for love, acceptance, and a sense of worth and value. But we seek that
love, acceptance, and self-worth from other people instead of seeking honor and praise from God.
1. We were created to live for God’s glory and the good of others. If we seek the glory of God (to
bring honor to Him) and the good of others (treat them as we want to be treated) we will get
love, acceptance, and self-worth we desire in their proper order.
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2. Praise comes to us because we reflect the glory of God, His character, His grace, and His gifts in
us. Matt 5:16—Let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your
heavenly Father (NLT).
C. It can be difficult to recognize pride in ourselves, especially in the way we treat other people. Pride can lead
us to believe that we have good reason to promote ourselves, since we may truly be smarter and more talented
and successful than other people. This confidence can cause us to look down on others.
1. Fallen human nature (which we all have) has a desire to exalt self and rule over others. Jesus said as
much (Luke 22:25). Pride (exalting myself) puts me above you—even if it’s only in my own mind.
a. While on earth, Jesus talked about two people who prayed to God with very different views of
themselves. One man saw himself clearly. The other was deceived by pride. Luke 18:9-14
b. Luke 18:9—Then Jesus told this story to some who had great self-confidence and scorned everyone
else (NLT); who were confident of their own goodness and looked down on others (J. B. Phillips).
1. Two men who went up to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisees who kept the Law of
Moses down to the smallest detail. The other was a dishonest tax collector, a Jew who
collected taxes from his fellow Jews for the Roman government.
A. The Pharisee prayed: I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else,
especially like that tax collector over there! For I never cheat, I don’t sin, I don’t commit
adultery. I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income (v11-12, NLT).
B. The tax collector dared not raise his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his
chest in sorrow, saying, ‘Oh God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner (v13, NLT).
2. According to the standard that the Pharisee set for himself, he had every reason to feel superior
to the tax collector. But humility has an accurate view of itself—without God I am nothing, I
know nothing, I have nothing and I can do nothing.
3. Jesus ended the story with these words: This sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified
before God. For the proud will be humbled, but the humble will be honored (v14, NLT).
2. Pride is also expressed by the way we view people who truly have less talent or ability than we do, who
have opinions we find ridiculous, or who do something wrong. We talk about them like the Pharisee did
the publican: I’m glad I’m not like that. I’d never be that stupid. He’s an idiot. Note two thoughts.
a. Would Jesus talk about that person that way? The point is not that you called him a name, the issue
is the attitude behind it—I am superior to that person. Reality is, no matter how deficient that
person is might be, he has value to God. Jesus died for him or her just as surely as He died for us.
b. And, if you had all the facts in his situation, you might see that he made the best decision possible.
You may not have handled it as well as he did. You are capable of doing what he did or worse.
1. Consider what Paul wrote, in the context of Israel engaging in idolatry, sexual sin, tempting
God, and complaining: So be careful. When you think you are standing firm, you might fall.
You are tempted in the same way all other human beings are (I Cor 10:12-13, NIRV).
2. Paul also wrote: Knowledge puffs up. We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge
makes people proud. But love builds them up. Those who think they know something still
don’t know as they should. But those who love God are known by God (I Cor 8:1-2, NIRV).
c. All humans have a desire to feel unique and special. And God sees our uniqueness. He knows
how many hairs are on our head and how many tears we cry. Matt 10:30; Ps 56:8
1. However, because human nature has been corrupted by sin, our natural desires can be inflated
or perverted. The desire to be unique becomes: I’m better than these people. I know I’m
supposed to do it this way, but I’m not like everyone.
2. I know the sign says only twelve items in this express lane, and I have thirty. But I’m in a
hurry, and my time is more valuable than the other people in line. That’s selfishness and pride.
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3. Jesus said that we are to follow His example meekness, as well as humility. Meekness has to do with
controlling anger. The root of anger is often pride. We get angry when things don’t go the way we
want, when someone disregards our opinion or disrespects us in some way.
a. We get angry about issues that have nothing to do with us because it’s hard to accept the fact that a
sane, reasonable person could see things differently from us. The person with a different opinion
didn’t wrong or disrespect you. You’re mad because your belief was not affirmed. That’s pride.
1. Note, the common element in things that make us angry is often self. Pride motivates us to win
at all costs, and we get into strife: Pride leads to arguments (Prov 13:10, NLT).
2. When you find yourself irritated or angry ask yourself, why am I angry. Is it because you
believe your way is best and this guy is an idiot? Is it because you think he disrespected you?
You’ve exalted yourself and made yourself superior, and that is the opposite of humility.
b. Humility lets it go. Paul the apostle wrote: Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much
as possible (Rom 12:18, NLT); So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to
build each other up (Rom 14:19, NIRV),
4. Paul also wrote that humility toward others looks like this: Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good
impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about
your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the
same that Christ Jesus had (Phil 2:3-5, NLT).
a. Pride is not interested in other people’s issues. Pride is not a good listener. Pride is focused on
self and it doesn’t recognize that it has interrupted people.
b. Humility asks others how they are doing, asks them questions about their lives and interests.
Humility is considerate of other people’s time. Is this a good time to talk? Am I interrupting you?
1. Pride minimizes other people’s blessings. Someone excitedly tells you about their new car,
and you tell them how that particular model has design flaws. Why did you say that? To
draw attention to yourself and your superior knowledge? That’s all pride.
2. Pride minimizes other people’s point of view. Someone shares a revelation they got from the
Bible and you act like you already know it—even though you don’t. Or you correct them on
some detail of their explanation. Did you do that to exalt self? That’s pride.
D. Conclusion: We have much more to say about developing Christ-like character, but consider these thoughts
as we close. I’m sharing general statements, but we all face specific situations. And it’s sometimes hard to
know how to apply these general principles in those specific situations. I don’t have all the answers.
1. But, I want to challenge you to begin to think in terms of developing Christ-like character. Ask God
to help you see your own selfishness and pride—instead of the other guy’s flaws. Ask to show you what
humility and meekness look like in your situation, and to help you respond as Jesus would.
2. To expose selfishness and pride, we must read the Bible. The king of Israel was instructed to copy the
Law of Moses, keep the copy with him, and read from it every day for the rest of his life: This way he
will learn to fear the Lord his God by obeying all the terms of this law. This regular reading will prevent
him from becoming proud and acting as if he is above his fellow citizens (Deut 17:19-20, NLT).
3. To walk in (express) humility and meekness, fallen humans must make a choice to deny self (turn from
yourself) and look to God for His help to walk in, or respond with, humility and meekness.
4. We are servants of God and servants of man. Note what Jesus said our attitude should be: When a
servant comes in from plowing or taking care of the sheep, he doesn’t just sit down and eat. He must
first prepare his master’s meal and serve him his supper before eating his own. And the servant is not
ever thanked, because he is merely doing what he is supposed to do. In the same way, when you obey
me you should say ‘We are servants who have simply done our duty’ (Luke 17:7-10, NLT).
